just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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