Me too!
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
