I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
