I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
