a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
