he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
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Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
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Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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