Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
