last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
it glows. i had to have it.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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