He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
