Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
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YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
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I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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