She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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