you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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