you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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