You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
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One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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