I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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