Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
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They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
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I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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