What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
