Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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