This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
