Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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