Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
