It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
