My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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