Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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