At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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