who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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