Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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