He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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