too bad you live with your parents still
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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