He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
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I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
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It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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