ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
