I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
