dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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