Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
