my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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