You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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