she woke up with a sticky ear
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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