Can Purell be used as lube?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
