Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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