Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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