saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
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It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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