Ambien. No doubt about it.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
