Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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