Where are you?
In a non slutty way
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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