Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
