i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
