lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
