this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
