I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
