I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
