sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize