so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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