It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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