Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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