I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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