hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize