All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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