on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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