one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
And then my night got REAL pukey
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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